In A Storm
by MamzelleHermy
Summary: Story based on series 4 spoilers I read. How would Merlin react when he loose something so dear to him ? Please read !
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone !**

**Well this is my first ever english story written and published and my first Merlin story too. Please be nice to me, english it's not my native language. Don't hesitate to point my mistakes it will help me improve. I hope you'll like this one shot. I wasn't sur if I want to continue it. What do you think ?**

* * *

><p>The sky was dark, huge, menacing, black clouds covering the otherwise summer blue. Thunder can be heard from somewhere West, over the Woods and people are preparing themselves to regain the safety of their home before the storm brakes. The air was heavy, warn and tense with the electricity. Merlin could nearly feel it from where he stood on the top of one of the multiple towers of the Citadel. He had recently developed the habit on getting out there to be alone and think. It settled him to be away from Arthur and Gaius and all the other friends he had in the castle. He was grateful for the attention he received from Gaius but nothing the old physician could say to him would erase the feeling of unease he's constantly living with since the loss of his magic. He felt incomplete, like there was something absolutely vital to him missing, everything around him seemed dull, the colors washed away, the sun not shinning as bright as ever, the food not tasting as it ever had. Lancelot, too, had been worried about him, constantly following him, just in case he'd encounter some threat. Well, that was until he had just lost control of his nerves and scream at his friend to leave him alone. He still feel a little guilty about that event but he feel hopeless enough, he doesn't need to be reminded of that everywhere he go and, moreover, if he's current state is going to be permanent he has to learn to cope alone. Maybe he should have learned how to properly fight with a sword after all. He already imagined what Arthur would say about that idea. The first flash of lightening crossed the sky and thunder followed seconds after, sending a light shiver through Merlin. He closed his eyes as the first drops of rain fell, appreciating the cold feeling as they dripped on him, soaking his neckerchief and his clothes. A voice in his head, sounding very much like Gaius, told him to get inside before catching a cold or being struck by a lightning but he ignored it and instead leaned a bit more on the wall circling the tower. Light bolts were erupting everywhere know, the rain falling heavier, the wind beginning to blow harder. Merlin was now completely dunked but he still refused to move, feeling somewhat more alive now than he had been during the last three weeks. Without magic he had just be wandering the corridors, carrying out his chores without enthusiasm but determinate not to show how he was feeling to avoid embarrassing questions. Well, obviously Gaius and Lancelot had noticed but that was merely because they know all that happened but to all the other, including Arthur and Gwaine, he was still good old cheery Merlin. He was particularly proud of himself for being able to deceive them, as they had shown themselves pretty anxious about Merlin's state after the whole incident back in the forest where everyone had thought he'd been killed by a rock fall. As for Gwaine, it has been irritating to have him fussing around Merlin but he has soon noticed that Merlin was trying not to get off with his head and so stopped. As for Arthur, it hasn't been so hard. At first he too had been surprisingly soft on his manservant but they were now back to their old self. Well Arthur was and Merlin was pretending to be. He was all the more worried about the Prince now. He didn't know how he was supposed to be protecting him without his only power and that was scaring him to no ends. He had desperately tried to find a solution in Gaius's books. He had even gone to the Great Dragon but, even for the creature, no solution was showing itself. So he was left to wait and hope that his magic will miraculously come back to him. God knows when or if this will ever happen. He didn't know for how long he'd been in the storm before he heard the door behind open loudly and clashing against the wall.<p>

"There you are", cried Prince Arthur to cover the sound of the storm. "We've been looking for you for hours now! Gaius was really worried! "

"Yeah, well, there am I", answered the young manservant looking back at the scenery before him, lacking the courage to confront his friend just know, fearing it might reveal his current feelings. "I'll get inside in a minute and find Gaius."

"Why were you doing here in first place", asked Arthur, trying not to sound too concerned. "You're soaking wet."

"Nothing I just wanted to watch the storm and think a moment I guess. Don't worry I've finished all my chores."

"I'm not worry about that", said the Prince in mid-voice. Merlin tried to ignore that and turned to face Arthur, an, hopefully, goofy smile on his face.

"Oh, come on! Let's go inside before you get a cold! I don't want to have to care about you if you're ill."

"I'm not going to be ill. I'm a Knight."

"Yeah, doesn't mean you're immortal, Sire."

"Oh shut up will you!"

They fell into silence as they went back in the castle. Arthur sent Merlin away to Gaius in order for him to get dry and to reassure the Physician. He observed the young boy until he turned a corner, unable to stop the worry that was blossoming in his heart. He didn't understand why but he felt something was wrong with his manservant. To anyone he would look normal, still his clumsy; happy self but Arthur knew better. People always think that he is completely unobservant but he had noticed how Merlin is quieter and how he will sometimes looks into space, eyes empty and then come back to him looking like he had lost something crucial. At first, he had thing it was the aftermath of the injuries he had suffer in the rock fall but now, three weeks later it doesn't seems plausible. He had also noticed how Merlin looked paler than usual, more worried and how he will sometime disappear like today. For one moment, when he had found the boy on the tower he had been afraid that he would jump. He shakes himself out of those thoughts, feeling ridiculous for worrying so much. Chances were his idiotic manservant was just the kind of man to go outside and admire the weather, even if it gets him ill.

Further away, Merlin had let go of a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding. He cursed himself for being caught by Arthur. He should have thought that Gaius would worry and send someone to look for him. He made a mental note to find a new hiding place and to be more careful about the time spend alone or it will finish to draw the attention of Arthur. A shiver ripped through him and he noticed that he indeed felt really cold now and he hurried a bit more to get to his chambers to put some dry clothes on.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews for me ? I'm really anxious about what you'll think about it...<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, Hello everyone !**

**So, here is a second chapter ! Thanks to RubyAB whithout whom I probably never had written it ! I haven't re-read it so there probably will be a lots of errors in that chapter but I really, really wanted to post it as soon as possible ! So forgive me please, I'll make the corrections in the week !**

**Please, continue to tell me what you think of what I'm writing ! I'm so so anxious about that !**

**Enjoy !**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2 :<p>

When he finally approached Gaius's chambers a few minutes later Merlin had to admit that Arthur was right. He was shaking with cold and his soaked clang to his skin making him colder if possible. He could still hear the storm ragging outside the thick walls of the castle and was sure it would continue for the rest of the evening and the night ahead.

Taking a great gulp of air to try and lessen the tremors of his body as well as to give himself courage he pushed open the Physician's door. He was welcomed with the warmth of the fire burning and quickly stepped into the room to close the door behind him as quietly as possible. He was hoping that Gaius wouldn't hear him or be absent. No such luck though as, a second later, the old man appeared in front of him, a relieved expression across his features. Before he had time to think of some excuse to explain his absence he was engulfed in a huge hug by his mentor.

"You had us all worried my boy", said Gaius once he had released the Warlock. "And you're soaking wet! Have you been outside in that storm? Go put some dry clothes on and then we'll talk."

Merlin let out a quiet sigh but still did what he was told. He took his time however to change and dry himself before sitting on his bed, rubbing his arm to try to warm himself. It turned out that he took so long that Gaius decided to knock at his door before entering his little room.

"Merlin", began Gaius softly, sitting himself slowly with his ward on the small cot.

"I'm sorry I had you worried Gaius. Really. Next time I will let you know where I am", interrupted the Warlock before the old man could continue and wishing it would be enough for him to be left alone.

It was Gaius's turn to sigh cursing the selflessness of the boy who has become like a son to him.

"You know it's not only because of your disappearing that I'm worry. But I still would like to know where you've been."

"I just needed some time alone Gaius. I'm sick of everybody worrying for me", snapped Merlin, starting to pass the floor in hope to blow some of his anger. "Even Arthur now! He had to choose this moment to stop being so oblivious and to care about my wellbeing!"

"My boy, calm down will you", tried to reason Gaius.

"I don't want to! I just everything to be back to normal Gaius!", told Merlin quietly, his anger dying down, leaving tears welling up in his eyes but stubbornly refusing to cry. "I want my magic back Gaius! I feel so lost and useless without it… Please…"

"I know. Trust me, I know… Come here", said the old Physician, patting the bed next to him.

Merlin dragged his feet across the small room and let himself fall down on the cot, head bent low. Gaius put an arm around his ward and hugged him tightly as the boy let some tears fall finally.

"You'll see, we're going to make that better. You must not lose hope… As for everyone being worried, they are your friends and they therefore care for you. They may not know about your magic but they still can feel something isn't right with you. The same way you can tell when something is amiss with Arthur or one or your friends. You can't expect less of them, can't you?"

They then sat a long time in silence, letting the words sink in and listening to the sounds of the storm outside. The rain on the small window was creating a strange symphony which somehow helped to settle Merlin's emotions, leaving him drained. Gaius didn't however let go of him and Merlin was inwardly glad of that it comforted him more than he ever could explain to the Physician. Unconsciously he hugged his mentor back, thanking him without word for being here. Merlin closed his eyes and, without even noticing it, fell asleep. Gaius listened as his Ward's breathing became profound and regular, proving that he finally had fallen asleep. He stayed a bit longer, caressing a hand on the boy's back and enjoying feeling him relaxed for the first time in weeks. Finally, he gently eased Merlin on his bed and placing a cover on him to keep him warm. With a last glance he quietly left the room, hoping that the boy will finally get enough sleep to feel a bit better. He obviously had noticed that the young Warlock's sleep had been a chaotic since the loss of his magic. He thought it to be expectable but it didn't stop him worrying for the young's health. He sighted again and forced himself to go back to his work. He had many potions to brew and was almost positive that Merlin will need some as he had felt the light shivers that had ran through his thin frame because of the cold. _What an idea to get out in a storm like this one_, thought Gaius.

He had almost finished cleaning his work when someone knocked at his door. Merlin was still asleep so he decided to go open the door instead of calling out to his visitor. He forced his muscle into action, and with a slight groan went to the door and opened it.

"Sire! What can I do for you", asked Gaius with surprise but keeping his voice low in order to not wake Merlin.

"I was looking for Merlin actually", explain the Prince glancing to the closed door of his manservant's chamber.

"Hum… Well… He's here… But… He's asleep Sire and I really don't wish to wake him up just yet", hesitated the Physician hoping that the Prince will understand and not force him to interrupt the boy's much-needed sleep.

"Oh… Yes… Of course yes… Don't bother then. I'll find someone else to attend to me tonight. Tell him to come to me tomorrow."

"You're sure Sire?"

"Yes I am. I think he needs the rest. He didn't look quite like himself recently. He seemed tired and I can't have him fainting on him, can't I?"

"Of course not, Sire", answered Gaius, knowing that that was the way Arthur was showing he cared for his manservant. "Good night then, Sire."

"Thank you Gaius. Good night to you too… Oh, and take care of Merlin."

"Of course, Sire." Declared Gaius with a slight bow as Arthur turned to leave. "Always."

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts ? Ideas to continue ? Anything you want to see ?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone !**

**Here is my third chapter ! A little later then what I planned but I really had no time at all. But still it is before tonight's Merlin episode ! (I'm so excited about it !). I'm not absolutly sure how to continue so if you have anymore idea, tell me ! I've already recieved one idea which I will try to get in the story !**

**I will once more thank RudyAB for his lovely review ! And thanks to everyone who is reading ! **

**Enjoy !**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3:<strong>

When Merlin awoke some time later it was with a pounding headache, a sore throat and a feeling of being both warm and cold at the same time. He groaned. Despite his frail constitution he had never been so much of an ill-catching person. He could only remember a few times when he had had a cold back during the harsh winters of Ealdor. He recognized the signs though and just hoped that the illness will go away as fast as it had come. He let himself sink further in his cover and hugged his knees to keep warm. He closed his eyes, willing his headache to go away. He wondered if he could sneak in Gaius' office to take a potion or if he could just magically erase his pain. He however decided against both possibilities as he was feeling too good in his bed and too bad at healing spells. He tried to go back to sleep but he hadn't been able and so, when the sun began to rise, he did the same and forced himself out of his bed. He shivered violently when he leaved the warmth of his cover and dressed himself more warmly then necessary for the season before exciting his room.

He found Gaius still soundly asleep and decided against waking him. Instead, he took a smile of bread to eat later and leaved a note to his mentor before going out in the corridor. He took the road towards the Royal Kitchens to fetch Arthur's Breakfast while forcing the bread down his sore throat. He winced each time he swallowed and sighted when he had finally finished. When he finally reached his destination the Kitchen's Staff eyed him critically but he hadn't been able to tell whether it was because he looked ill or because they weren't used to see him so early and not in a rush because he was late. The cooks however gave him what he asked for and Merlin hurried to go out to escape their stares. Back in the corridor he slowed down his pace and it took him longer than usual to reach the Prince's Chambers. Outside them he took some time to regain his breathing before opening the door quietly. He went to the table with surprising agility and silently places the food on it being careful not to wake Arthur who was still fast asleep. He then eyed the dimly lit room and noticed there weren't any discarded clothes lying everywhere for him to pick up in punishment for his absence. He wasn't able to complain about it thought because by this time he really wasn't feeling well and a little less work looked like heaven. He resisted the urge to sit down on one of the comfortable-looking chairs and went to open the curtains.

The rising sun immediately entered the room, blinding him for a second. He took a look outside and saw a thin layer of mist covering the crops outside the city announcing a finally sunny day and creating a beautiful scenary with an aura of mystery. He was interrupted in his contemplation by a groan and turned his head to see the Prince of Camelot trying to escape the light.

"Time to wake up Sire.", said Merlin in a raspy voice that surprised himself. It however succeeded in waking Arthur for he pushed himself in a sitting position and observed his manservant as if he had grown a second head.

"Merlin! What are you doing here so early?"

"Well… I thought that you had training today and wanted to be waked early.", answered hesitantly Merlin after clearing his throat with a cough.

"You're… Right… But it's the first time you actually do as I say."

"First time for everything. Your breakfast is ready.", said the Warlock, turning to prepare Arthur's clothes for the day and escape his master's scrutiny.

"Thanks, I suppose then."

Arthur continued to watch his servant as he sat at his table eating. The boy seemed paler than the day before and Arthur didn't like the way his voice sounded scratched. The Prince couldn't see other signs of illness. Merlin was, for once, doing his job silently and effectively. Arthur knew he should have been grateful for that but a quiet Merlin didn't sit right with him and that's why, a few minutes later, he pushed his pride down and asked:

"Are you feeling alright Merlin?"

"Yes, of course yes, Sire", answered the boy after a moment of bewilderment. "Why should I not be?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"No reason", lied Merlin without looking at Arthur. "Is there anything else you want me to do?"

"Well, you have to go fetch my armor and then I'll need you at the training field."

"Of course. I'll go and take the plates down to the kitchen if you're finished."

Arthur had barely time to respond before Merlin grabbed his plates and exited the room. The Prince blinked. Never before had Merlin be so close to be a perfect Servant. This was surely proof enough that something was more wrong with Merlin than what he thought. Sure lately he had been less retired a quiet but not suite like that. He sighted and resolved to get dressed while waiting for Merlin to return. Once that was done he went to the window and watched the people of Camelot begin their day. He was glad that the storm had finally got away. The sound of the rain on his window always had grated on his nerves, preventing him for sleeping much. It was much longer than usual before Merlin returned, breathing heavily and a layer of sweat on his forehead. He put the armor he was carrying down and proceeded to cough roughly a few time before looking up at Arthur. The Prince was watching him with an expression which was part exasperation and part concern.

"_Merlin…_"

"I'm fine", interrupted Merlin before the Prince could ever begin to scold him.

"You don't look fine."

"It's just a cold. And now, time to get yourself into your armor or you'll be late."

Arthur wanted to protest but Merlin had already begun to work, leaving him no time to think. In no time, Arthur was in his armor and set out for the training field, Merlin beside him. Arthur kept in mind to walk more slowly than usual as Merlin seemed to be easily out of breath. Merlin for his part hadn't really noticed because he tried to stay focus on his breathing and on putting one foot before the other. His throat wasn't feeling better, nor his head which felt as if it was pierced by a dagger. He was also slightly shivering again but was determined to carry on his working because it, at the last, kept him from thinking about his new non-magic existence. He was glad when then finally arrived at the training feeling and he get to sit down on a bench in the sun while Arthur get to talk to the new Knights. They soon began the training and Arthur forced himself to forget his concern about his manservant.

* * *

><p><strong>Loved ? Hated ? Tell me please !<strong>

**And other question : I know you're Merlin fan but would you like that I translate my french Doctor Who fic ? [No compulsory answer ^^]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, hello everyone ! I hope you're all well (even after those two Merlin episodes) ! I really apologize for the lateness of this chapter ! I discovered that it's really hard to read a fanfiction while watching those fantastic episodes of Merlin ! I hope you don't hate me too much... **

**Anyway, here comes the time when I don't really know where to go with that story so if you have any ideas please, please, don't hesitate to tell me huh =D. But still, I'll try so somehow write a chapter per week. I say try huh. **

**Anyway, time for me to let you read !**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>**:**

During his morning's work Merlin had steadily felt worse and worse. Even if his only mission was to care about the Knights' weapon and to bring them water, which was ordinary one of the easy part of his job as manservant, he was feeling exhausted. His headache hadn't got better at all and, if possible, was worst because of the sun which was shining brightly. To the Warlock it looked like even the sun was laughing at him.

Because of the heat, his throat had also became dryer and dryer until he felt that even a bucket of water wouldn't suffice to humidify it. It was forcing him to cough which irritated it all the more. He was coughing so much that he felt a little breathless all the time. He had desperately tried to find a little corner of shadow to hide when the Knights didn't need him but none were available so he was left to suffer in the nearly burning sun. Of course he was now far too warmly dressed and was feeling far too hot and sweating profusely while shivering at the same time. All in all, he was feeling more than awful. He even was considering the possibility to use a little magic to make a Knight trip or something just to have an excuse to take him to Gaius. That almost looked like a good idea. Almost because he didn't want to actually see his mentor and worry him more than he already was.

He shook himself out of his daydreams when he heard one of the Knights calling his name in the middle of the clashing of the metal. Sighting, Merlin proceeded to get up from his sitting position but as soon as he was up he swayed violently, hit by a wave of dizziness. He closed his eyes to stop the world spinning, letting go of the water flask he was holding.

"Merlin", came the irritated voice of the Prince through the buzzing of his ears.

The Warlock didn't answer, focused on trying not to be sick or fall to the ground.

"Merlin? Are you alright" asked the voice of Lancelot closer to him.

"Yeah, yeah fine" managed to answer Merlin in a quiet and quivering voice before coughing so violently that he had to bend in too.

"Merlin for god sake! You're ill! Sit back down!"

"No, no, it's okay" tried to resist a breathless Merlin to Lancelot who was forcing him on the earth.

"Merlin, do as you're told for once" commanded Arthur who had finally decided to come check on his manservant after hearing Lancelot exclamation. Merlin grumpily complied.

"I'm fine, it's just a cough!"

"You looked like you were going to faint to me" said Lancelot in a concerned voice.

"I just get up too fast, that's all" interrupted Merlin, glaring at his friend.

"Lancelot is right. You're really not looking good and… You're burning up" exclaimed Arthur after having touched his forehead in a perfect imitation of a mother hen. "You should have said you weren't feeling well! You go to Gaius."

"No! Really! I'm fine! No need to…"

"Now Merlin. I would make that an order if I knew it would make you obey it but it would be of no use…"

"Arthur" began the Warlock.

"Merlin. No need to discuss it. Sir Lancelot, I trust you can take my idiotic servant to the Court Physician."

"Of course Sire" replied immediately Lancelot ignoring Merlin's glare which would have transformed him into a frog haven't they been in the middle of the training ground.

He then took hold of one of Merlin's arms and proceeded to slowly help the young man on his feet.

"I don't want to see you until Gaius say you're completely fine. Understand Merlin?"

Merlin didn't answer but instead turned his back to the Knights and made his way to the Castle. Lancelot and Arthur exchanged an exasperated look before Lancelot took off after his friend. It took him no time before he caught up with Merlin, who was pointedly ignoring him, staring straight before him, trying not to breathe too heavily.

"Oh come on Merlin! Stop being like that! You know we're just worry about you. You really look awful."

"Listen, I don't want to talk with you right now Lancelot, so if we can just do that so you can go back to training" replied Merlin a little more harshly that he wanted to.

"Okay. Okay" sighted Lancelot before putting a hand on the Warlock's back a new coughing fit erupted in his chest.

It was after far longer than usual that they arrived before Gaius' rooms. Lancelot knocked before entering, Merlin behind him. Gaius looked surprised to see them both there but immediately noticed the pale complexion of his ward and the sweat on his forehead.

"Merlin!" he exclaimed before coming in front of him putting one of his hand against his forehead and gripping one of his hand, feeling for the young man's pulse. "You've got a fever and you're pulse seems a bit weak. Other symptoms?"

"He was coughing pretty badly on the training ground and it looks like he was about to faint" said Lancelot before Merlin could say anything to lie about his current state of health.

"I was not!" cried Merlin before coughing once more.

Lancelot and Gaius exchanged a knowing look behind Merlin's back and Gaius guided Merlin towards the patient bed, helping him out of his jacket. He noted how Merlin was shivering even he was hot to the touch.

"You can go Lancelot. Thank you for bringing him."

"You're welcome. Take care both of you."

Lancelot went out leaving Merlin and Gaius alone in the room.

"Lie down while I prepare you some medicine will you" told Gaius, getting up and beginning searching ingredients.

For once Merlin didn't need to be told two time and gratefully laid down on the patient bed. It was not the most comfortable of the beds but it still felt as heaven to be inside and able to close his eyes. He was still shivering, feeling too hot and occasionally coughing but he had to admit that being in his home, surrounded by the scents of Gaius medicines, helped him. It was only a few minutes later that Gaius came in front of him with two vials in his hand and a pitcher of water.

"Drink this, it will help with the fever" explained Gaius.

Merlin took the vial and quickly drowned the content, grimacing because of the taste of it. He took a glass of water to erase the taste. It felt good against his throat.

"I will rub this poultice on your throat and then you will drink this second vial. It's made with lemon and honey so it won't taste so bad. Now take off your shirt please."

Groaning, Merlin complied and took off the two shirts he had put on, instantly shivering more. Gaius quickly set to work and in little time Merlin was once more dressed and was taking the second vial. Gaius told him to lie down a second time and then covered him with a heavy blanket.

"Thank you Gaius." Said Merlin as the old man turned to go back to what he was doing before the interruption.

"You're welcome. Now try to rest my boy."

Merlin smiled lightly then closed his eyes. In minutes he was asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So ? Loved ? Hated ? Thoughts ? Ideas ? Please leave a comment ! I'm so anxious about this story ! You'll make my day !<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone !**

**First thing, I apologize for the lateness of that chapter. I promised it for yesterday but well life went that way and I really had no time. And that wonderful Merlin episode didn't helped at all as I had to take time to survive to it.**

**Any way, I have to be honest, I still finished that chapter and I really, really don't know where it came from. I really hadn't planned that and that's kind of scary. So I really, really, really need you to tell me what you think of it. I'm under the impression this story is just going round. Really, I'm not sure it's good at all. So I will not hate you if you tell me that's crap. Be honest !**

**Well, I'll let you read !**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Five:<strong>_

During the rest of the day, Gaius continued his work while watching Merlin with one eye. The boy will never cease to worry him. Some days he nearly wished that the boy never came to Camelot. But, well, he also had to admit that he was glad to have someone in his lonely life. Before Merlin his life had been somehow dull with only his work as a companion. Now, however, he had a more personal purpose in his life. Merlin is always proving himself to be a sort of a challenge for the old Physician. He had never had to care about somehow before and even less a child but he had learned. And he hoped that he was doing a good job with Merlin. He was proud of the boy and of what he was accomplishing every day. But the love Merlin gives him and the feeling of having a family came with nearly constant anxiety. Gaius found himself jumping each time someone came into his Chambers, worried that something had happened to Merlin or that the boy had done something reckless like using magic in plain sight and got arrested. And that was not to talk for all those time when Merlin mysteriously disappeared or followed Arthur in dangerous quests. And now, without his magic Gaius could see how lost his adopted son was. He thought that even the boy hadn't realized how much his live was dependant on magic until this day. Gaius had hoped that it was only a temporary state but he had to admit that the temporary was beginning to be a bit long and he feared that it will not be so temporary in the end. He refused to talk about this possibility with Merlin quite now however. He had still some books to read and he really hoped that he would find some answers there.

He had to wait until lunchtime for something to happen and it was a quiet knocking at the door. Gaius was sitting at his table, about to eat but still he got up to open the door. He was once more surprised to see the Prince of Camelot in front of him. The regal man was still wearing his armor and stood awkwardly in front of Gaius.

"Sire, what can I do for you? Where you injured during training?"

"What?" asked Prince Arthur looking confused. "No, in fact I… I was wondering how was Merlin… He seemed pretty ill this morning…" _And__I__was__worried_, Arthur thought without saying it.

"Oh, that's very kind Arthur. Come in. He's sleeping at the moment. I gave him a sleeping draught. He has a pretty high fever but it is certainly because his body is fighting the cold. I believe he'll be alright in a couple days."

The Prince entered the room, Gaius following and found his way near to Merlin. Gaius could see that he was feeling guilty and worried but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry Gaius. It's my fault. I saw that he was ill but still I made him work. I should have send him back to you immediately."

"It isn't your fault Arthur. Besides, stubborn as he can be, he probably would have found another servant to help instead of coming here."

"But still I could have tried."

Silence fall in the Chambers as both Gaius and Arthur watched the sleeping form of Merlin.

"Something else is wrong with him, isn't it Gaius?"

"What do you mean, Sire?" asked Gaius, feeling his heartbeat speed up a bit but forcing his eyes to meet the Prince's.

"I don't know but… Something is off with Merlin recently. I can't put my finger on it but… He's different… And not just because he's suddenly quiet and efficient in his work or because he's disappearing for hours… It's just a feeling… Surely you've noticed too, right?"

Gaius was quiet for a long moment after that, trying to decide what to tell the Prince. Obviously the words "_He__lost__his__magic__while__saving__you__and__now__he__doesn__'__t__know__what__to__do_" wouldn't be the best to say.

"I've noticed Sire. But I can't say I know what is wrong with him. You know how he is. He won't talk of what's bothering him. Even to me."

Arthur hummed his answer, still watching Merlin.

"Well, I'll better leave you then. Tell Merlin he doesn't need to come back until he is fully healed."

"Yes Sire."

And with that Arthur left the room and Gaius breathed a sigh of relief while seating himself back at the table.

The next morning found Merlin awakening feeling better. He was pretty sure is fever was nearly gone because he wasn't feeling overly warm anymore. His headache was nearly gone too and only his throat remained sore. Gaius made him drink another round of Potions before authorizing him to sit at the table to take a breakfast. Merlin had been starving and thus had eaten his bowl of soup in record time. Once he was finished, he went in his bedroom to change and then made his way to get out.

"Where exactly do you think you're going young man" asked Gaius from his spot at the table.

"To Arthur's Chambers of course" replied Merlin with his still sore voice. "He probably will be mad with me."

"I don't think so, no. He personally came here to tell me not to let you go out of here before being fully healed."

"But I'm healed look! I feel far better now."

Gaius arched an eyebrow at him as Merlin began coughing lightly.

"You're staying here Merlin. That's an order. And I'm sure if you go to Arthur he will tell you the same… He noticed something was wrong Merlin. He told me that yesterday."

Merlin heaved a sigh and came back to sit in front of his mentor, looking desperate.

"I'm sorry, Gaius."

"Stop saying that. It's not your fault… Maybe you could use that free time to make some researches in your magic book…"

"Gaius…"

"I know you're against it Merlin. But maybe you could find something in it. And if you don't look in it I will."

"Right… I'll go then."

"Good boy" said the Physician a little sarcastically as Merlin all but dragged himself toward his room.

Merlin sighed was more as he settled himself on his bad and took his book from his hiding place. It was hard to admit but he was slightly scared to open his book to find nothing to help him. It was also painful to read spells which he knew he wouldn't be able to try because, well, he wasn't a Warlock anymore. He forced himself to push those thoughts away and began flipping through the pages.

* * *

><p><strong>So ? You hated it ? Loved it ? Please, leave a review. I need to know what you think !<strong>


	6. Author's Note for Christmas

**__**Hi everyone who'reading this story !

This will not be a chapter but I still come with good news for this christmas ! I HAVE finished this story on paper so I just have to numerize it and correct it a little and I'll really update it ! With Christmas I hadn't time to do it but it will definitivly be next week !

So, thank you for the wait, I'mp really sorry about but you know how writing is, life get in the way...

Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all and may all your wishes be granted !

See you next week !

And have a nice Merlin episode tonight !


	7. Chapter 6

**__****Hi my dear readers ! **

**As promised here is the sixth chapter of this fic ! I took such a long time to write it because I honestly didn't know what I would write until I was in it and I think I'm pretty happy with how it get out ! I hope you''ll tell me what you think about it so please, please, REVIEW !**

**Oh and the idea of it was given to me by LunaShadowWolf13. I know it isn't what you had in mind but I hope you'll enjoy it !**

**Good reading !**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six:<strong>

After all, Merlin had spent the rest of the day tumbling through his old magic book. The sun hanged low in the sky, casting long shadows in the room, and he felt discouraged. During all those hours he had found nothing even slightly interesting and was tempted to just throw the thing back in its hiding place. In fact, he had almost done that when his eyes had fallen upon the recipe of a Potion written in a corner of a page at the far end of the book. He gasped as he read the description of its' supposed effects. His heart took pace and he bounced out of his bed. Ignoring the cold floor under his feet he went to the main room, finding Gaius reading near the fire.

"Gaius! I found it!" he announced before his mentor had noticed him.

"What?" said Gaius in his surprise.

"Something that could help me! Look!"

Merlin nearly hadn't been able to contain his excitation as the old man slowly read the page he had pointed. Gaius was frowning when he finished.

"I'm not sure Merlin…" he said finally looking up to his Ward.

"But it has to be that Gaius! I'm sure it will work!"

"Merlin…"

"No! We have to try! It's the first thing we found in weeks of searches!"

"It looks pretty dangerous…"

"I don't care!" exclaimed Merlin, his anger surging again as he began to pace the room. "Do you think you can make it?"

"Yes but…"

"No buts, we'll do it!"

Gaius eyed his Ward. The boy had that determinate look on his face that the Physician knew all too well and had come to fear. He knew that even if he refused to help him Merlin will do what he wanted, regardless of his advice.

"Okay… Okay… Tomorrow though. I have to buy some of those ingredients."

"Thank you Gaius!"

"Yeah… Now stay here and eat."

Merlin sent him one of his dazzling smiles that Gaius loved and took his place at the wooden table.

* * *

><p>The following morning, Merlin woke up feeling more optimist than he had been in weeks. He got up and went to take his breakfast. Gaius was still in his Chambers but he left soon after Merlin arrived to make his rounds. During that time the Warlock had once more taken his magic book out and had carefully read everything that will have to be done for the Potion to work. He had to admit that in all honesty he would have preferred to find something else but if this was the only mean to have his magic back then he will do what was necessary.<p>

As he was feeling better, he decided to resume his work. It would put his mind off waiting for Gaius and, at the same time, prevent Arthur to come barging in for him. That's why he had reluctantly made his way towards the Prince's Chambers after having fetched breakfast. He was hoping that, thanks to some miracle, the Prince wouldn't be in his Chambers but eating with his father and that he could just leave without any chores to do. When he opened the doors, he thought that his wish had been granted. The room was seemingly empty and Merlin made his way to the table to set breakfast on the table. He had finished and was turning to get out when he came face to face with Prince Arthur, wearing his armor and looking tired.

"Ah, Merlin" He said, smiling slightly. "I was hoping to find you here. Could you help me out of my armor and polish it afterwards? That early training was tough."

Merlin said nothing but heaved a quiet sigh before setting to work as quickly as he could, knowing that Gaius would probably soon be back. He had finished in matters of minutes, without a word or a look to Arthur, and asked:

"If that's okay with you I'll go polish your armor now Sire. If you're hungry there's food ready."

Arthur looked incredulously at his manservant without knowing what to say before nodding slowly. Immediately Merlin picked up the armor and darted out of the room, arms full of armor. Arthur blinked after him, saying in the empty air:

"What the hell was that?"

He shook his head and decided he would find his manservant later to see if something was wrong with him.

Meanwhile, Merlin made his way back to the Physician's Chambers and dumped the armor in a corner of the room with a clatter. Gaius eyed him with reprobation but wisely said nothing.

"You have everything." Merlin asked eagerly.

"Yes but I'd like you to reconsider…"

"There's nothing to reconsider Gaius. Will you help me to brew that potion or not?"

"You know the answer." The Physician answered with a sigh.

"Thank you." Said Merlin before going to his room. He came back seconds later, magic book in hand, and began to look for what they would need.

"You want to do it now?" asked Gaius.

"Of course! Why wait? No time like present!" explained Merlin without stopping his preparations.

Gaius gaped at him and wanted to say something but in the end he realized he didn't kwon what and kept silent, helping his Ward.

It was more than two hours after that that they finally finished the potion. They were both sweating lightly when Gaius hold the glass vial over Merlin's book to compare the color of the potion with it.

"It looks good. One ingredient left Merlin."

Merlin nodded and took the blade his mentor is holding out for him. His hand shook slightly but he ignored it and extended his other arm. He was about to cut his wrist open when the door opened with a crash making both men jump than freeze in place.

"Gaius! We need you. There has been an accident in the lower city. People are hurt." A breathless Guard informed.

"Okay, I'm coming. Go inform the King." Gaius commanded without moving.

The Guard leaved immediately, running back in the corridor and Merlin released a breath in hadn't noticed he had been holding. Gaius waited for the Guard footsteps to vanish before turning to Merlin and telling him in his most serious voice.

"I have to go. We will finish this when I come back. During this time, clean everything and move your book and the potion back to your room. No need to risk anyone finding it if I come back with people hurt." He turned to take his supplies than turned once more to his Ward who had still to say something. "I mean it Merlin. Wait for me."

"Yes… " The boy finally answered, eyes never leaving the knife in his hand.

"Merlin!"

"Yes, yes, I will!"

"Good."

Gaius leaved and Merlin finally began to do what Gaius told him. In no time he cleaned the main room, restacking the supplies they had used at their right place then took his book and the potion back to his room. He hesitated but finally took the knife with him too. He sat on his bed and set the potion on his bedside, keeping the blade in hand. He played absently with it, watching the sunlight reflect on his edge. His mind wandered far away. He reflected on how ironic it was that something which will hurt him will also save him by giving him his magic back. It was like magic. He can do both harm and good. Merlin shook his head, willing the thought about magic to disappear as they were only hurting him.

* * *

><p>He waited for a long time, judging by the sun but he finally couldn't take the wait anymore. He stopped playing with the knife in his hands to grip it in his right hand. He clumsily managed to open the vial containing the potion than put his left wrist above it. He took a deep breath to steady himself and put the blade on his wrist. His shaking hand pushed too hard and blood fall heavily from the wound. He managed to make it fall in the vial, changing the color of the potion, straining it in red.<p>

Once it was the right shade, he took his hand away and closed the bottle again before shaking it to mix its contents. He smiled and set it back again to let it stand for a few minutes as instructed in his book. He knew he should probably bind his still-bleeding wrist but he couldn't see the point as, with luck, he would be able to magically heal it a bit later. All is attention was focused on the potion in front of him. He was so absorbed in it that he failed to hear the sound of the Physician's door opening and closing and someone approaching. The exclamation that followed, however, makes him jump and he hadn't time to react before someone grabbed forcefully his neckerchief and bound it tightly around his wrist, making him cry out from the pain of it.

"Merlin! You idiot! What are you thinking?" asked the slightly panicked Prince Arthur.

Merlin gaped at him, not understanding why the Prince was looking so agitated about.

"I didn't though you were a coward Merlin!", exclaimed the royal, anger taking the place of his concern.

"What?" Merlin finally managed.

"If there is something upsetting you you know that you can come to me or to Gaius if you prefer but… Death is never an option."

Merlin raised his eyebrows at his friend, wondering if he has lost his mind.

"I… I know this Arthur but… Why are you saying that?"

It was Arthur's turn to look at Merlin with an incredulous expression.

"Merlin… You cut your wrist open with a knife." He explained very slowly as if he was talking to some frightened child.

"Oh!" Merlin explained, finally catching up. "No! That's not what it seems!"

"Really?" The Prince responded, clearly not believing his manservant.

"Yes! It… It is… An experiment! For a new healing salve!" Merlin lied clumsily and it didn't help Arthur's doubt.

"Merlin, I meant what I said. You can talk to me if something is bothering you. You're my fri-manservant and I wish to help."

"There isn't anything Arthur." The Warlock insisted more confidently this time.

"Okay", reluctantly said Arthur after a long time. "But you promise me that if anything was wrong you would come and tell me right?"

"I swear Arthur" Merlin said and felt guilty because he knew he wouldn't keep that promise.

He must have been convincing because Arthur slowly nodded once before letting go of him and getting up. Merlin willed him to go but the Prince seemed uncertain and was looking around the room.

"Where is Gaius?"

"Oh… He has been called in the lower town, there's been an accident… You should probably go there too by the way, being the Prince and all that. But he should be back soon." Merlin was beginning to ramble in his will to make the Prince go away and snapped his mouth shut. Arthur eyed him, unfazed.

'I'll wait for him then." The Prince decided.

"Arthur! There's no need! Really!" Merlin protested, outraged.

"There's every need Merlin. And while I'm here, I'm going to patch you up. We can't have you leaving a trail of blood everywhere."

Merlin tried to protest once more but Arthur totally ignored him and went back to the main room. The Warlock heard him moving things and sighted, knowing that it was him who would have to tidy everything again. He pushed himself to his feet only to fall back again, the room spinning slightly around him. He waited a few second before making a second attempt. He felt light-headed but nothing he hadn't coped with before. He made his way to the main room only lightly swaying. He found it far less organized than the last time he saw it and cursed silently Arthur.

"What in hell happened here?" He exclaimed while descending his stairs. "Do you know how long it had taken me to clean that room?"

"Doesn't look like it." The Prince said, still searching through a cupboard. "I'm looking for linen to bind that wound of yours."

"Let me." Merlin interrupted and in a minute found what the Prince had been searching.

Arthur made Merlin reluctantly sit at the table and took his left hand. He was about to untie Merlin's neckerchief when the door opened, revealing a tired-looking Gaius. Immediately, Merlin took his hand back to hide it and stood up. Well, tied to stand up would have been a better description because the blood loss and residual illness had definitively taken the little balance he had and he just swayed before sitting back again. White spots danced in front of his eyes.

"Merlin!" Both men cried out.

"I'm fine!" Merlin replied quickly but neither was listening as Arthur was telling the Physician what happened. Fortunately, Gaius didn't look surprised but just weary and backed Merlin's lie. Arthur seemed reassured even if he was still sending Merlin concerned glances.

"Don't worry Sire. Merlin will be fine in no time." Gaius said once more.

"Okay… I'll leave you then…"

Gaius waited for a few seconds after the door closed behind the Prince before turning to his Ward.

"What were you thinking?" He cried out loudly while sitting beside the Warlock with a glare. "I thought I told you to wait for me?"

"You did… But…"

"Don't ever finish that sentence!"

Merlin looked down, looking ashamed. Worry took the place of anger in Gaius and he sighted.

"Give me your wrist before you faint you idiot!"

Merlin obeyed without complains and the Physician carefully unwrapped the neckerchief. He tutted when he saw the too profound wound and announced:

"I will need to stitch it Merlin. You weren't supposed to cut that profound."

"I'm sorry Gaius."

"Yeah… Let say that pain will be your punition because if you want to take your potion I don't want to give you anything else."

* * *

><p><strong>So ? Loved it ? Hated it ? Please, review ! Only one chapter left !<strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**_Okay dear readers. This is it. The last chapter of this fanfiction. I have to say that I absolutly wasn't expecting this story to become like that. It really was supposed to be a one-shot. Ican't believe it. And that is thanks to the lovely reviews (even if I hadn't recieved one in a long time and I'm quite sad about that but I suppose that's life...)._**

**_Anyway, THANK YOU for reading this story ! I'm hoping you will love this chapter ! I loved writing it event if it's a style I'm new in (and particulary in english.)_**

**_And HAPPY NEW YEAR ! May you have all you wish for !_**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven:<strong>

When Gaius finally finished tying a white cloth around Merlin's left wrist the Warlock let his head fall with a thud on the wooden table.

"I'm never doing that again ever." He says, voice muffled by his arms.

"Glad to hear that" Gaius told him, patting his head and getting up.

Merlin didn't move for a long time waiting for the throb to subside in his arm as Gaius once more clean his room. The old man was beginning to think that his Ward had fallen asleep when the boy suddenly looked up and announced:

"Well, let's see if I have done that for nothing."

Gaius froze a bit, his anxiety sparking to life again, but he shook himself quickly and helped Merlin up. They made their way towards the young man's room and sat themselves on his small bed. Merlin took the glass vial that was waiting on his bedside and turned to Gaius, suddenly feeling anxious.

"Gaius…" He began but didn't how to continue.

"You're not going to hesitate now, are you?" The old man answered nevertheless, his voice a bit thick.

"No. Of course not." Merlin said, forcing a smile. He hesitated a bit but finally pulled his mentor in a hug. Gaius nodded to him and Merlin opened the vial and quickly drowned its contents. Surprisingly, the Potion didn't taste as vile as he thought.

During the first seconds nothing happened and Merlin watched Gaius worriedly. He was about to speak when the first wave of pain hit him, making him cry out. The Physician caught him when he bent over, trying desperately to escape the fire that seemed to be burning him for the insight out. Merlin closed his eyes tightly. He distantly heard Gaius call him but he couldn't bring himself to reply or even acknowledge him. He knew only the pain coursing through him. He thought he heard someone begging and he wondered if it was him. The thought left him as a new wave of pain engulfed him and everything went black.

Gaius hadn't know what to expect when Merlin had drank the Potion but it certainly hadn't been the cry of pain of the young man nor the way all his muscle had seemed to painfully tense as once. He had only be able to catch him when he had bent over himself, tears streaming down his face, eyes shut and expression full of pain. Gaius held his Ward close, trying to calm him with soft words and a hand rubbing on his back. The Physician in him was worried to feel tremors running through his boy's body, making him shake. He noticed Merlin was mumbling and put his hear near his mouth to catch the faint voice of the Warlock.

"Please… Please… Make it stop" He begged brokenly.

"I can't Merlin… I'm sorry my boy…. I can't… It's going to be alright you'll see… You're going to be fine, I promise…" Gaius answered quietly, doubting his Ward would be able to understand him.

To Gaius, it seemed forever before Merlin finally felt unconscious and even when he didn't he didn't look fine. His body was still trembling and his brow furrowed. The Physician however breathed a sigh of relief when the heart-breaking pleas ceased.

"Oh, my boy…" he said thickly, caressing Merlin's black hair for a long time.

Night was beginning to fall when he was finally able to force himself to let go of Merlin. The boy still looked in pain and Gaius made him gently lie down on the bed. He got up and fetched a blanket in the cupboard with which he covered him. He then settled in a chair next the bed and took one of the Warlock's hands in his own, hoping it would help him by showing him he wasn't alone. He was beyond himself with worry and found himself praying for the boy to get better.

An hour or so later, Gaius taken out of his anxious thoughts by a knock at the door. He jumped slightly before slowly getting up, joints protesting. He placed a hand on Merlin's forehead, murmured an apology and went out the small room, closing the door behind him.

"Come in." He called and breathed a quiet sigh of relieve when he saw Sire Lancelot cross the door. "Lancelot, What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I came to see how Merlin was. I hadn't seen him recently." The Knight explained looking at the closed door behind Gaius.

The old man didn't know how to answer but knew he could trust the other man.

"You'd better see by yourself." He finally said tiredly.

Both men went back to the Warlock's room and Lancelot gasped when he saw his friend curled on himself, pale and shaking.

"What happened?" He asked worriedly as Gaius took his place back.

"He found a Potion, in his magic book…He believed it would help him to bring his powers back… But… I'm not sure… He collapsed soon after he drank it… H was in so much pain Lancelot… I should have let him do that…" The Physician finished guilt coloring his voice.

"Gaius… You have done nothing wrong. You know how Merlin is. He wouldn't have listened to you if you had forbidden it." Lancelot put a hand on the old man's shoulder. "You look tired, maybe you should get some sleep. I'll stay with Merlin."

Gaius hesitated but he couldn't say the Knight was wrong. He wasn't so young anymore and the day's event had got him. He reluctantly nodded and patted once more Merlin's head before leaving the room.

"Wake me if there is any change at all."

"I will." Lancelot said solemnly before sitting down on the chair the Physician has vacated.

"Thank you Lancelot."

Gaius made his way to his bed, leaving Merlin's door ajar. He sighted when he lied down and fell asleep quickly despite his worry for the boy he considered as his son.

It felt as if he had barely slept when Gaius was woken by a cry and the sound of a crash. He sat up and quickly got to his feet. He went to Merlin's room to find Lancelot on the ground, rubbing his head and Merlin trembling more violently than ever.

"Lancelot! What happened?" He asked, helping the man and automatically checking him for injuries.

"I don't know! Merlin started trashing in his sleep but when I tried to restrain him I was forced back… It was magic Gaius!"

The physician didn't know if he was happy or more worried because of that display of magic. It was indeed proving that the Potion had worked but on the other hand, the Warlock had clearly not been in control of his powers and that was scary, scary and potentially dangerous. Carefully, he made his way to the bed.

"He seems calmer now." Lancelot whispered behind him.

Gaius slowly put his hand on Merlin's brow and found it far warmer than it should be.

"It looks like he's got a fever. Could you get me some water to bath his forehead please?"

"Oh course."

Lancelot went out and came back minutes later to find Gaius quietly talking to a still-unconscious Merlin and looking a bit desperate.

"Why are you looking so worried Gaius? His magic is coming back. Isn't that good?" The Knight asked, setting himself near his friend.

"I don't know Lancelot… With what you told me it doesn't look like he is in control of it and that could be pretty dangerous for both us and him…. And I'm worry that he is still unconscious. He doesn't look at peace…"

Silence fell back in the room and only Merlin's rapid breathing was breaking through it.

The night passed without any more trouble but, as the sun set out, Gaius and Lancelot heard Merlin's breathing pattern change again. He was suddenly panting as if he was running and whimpering slightly. Gaius tried to calm him but without success and after a few minutes like that, Merlin sat up, back straight and tense, eyes molten gold, and let out a scream before panting and slumping back against Gaius, unconscious once more. Both Lancelot and the Physician heard glass shattering in the main room but didn't care as Merlin was once more limp. Gaius sighted, brushing his Ward sweat-coated fringe before laying him back on his bed. Lancelot didn't move, under shock for what he had just witnessed. He had never saw magic like that and even less from Merlin who had always seemed in total control of his magic. They waited a bit more to be sure that Merlin was as fine as possible before going to the main room. There, they were faced with a little devastation. Nearly every glass vial that Gaius possessed had been shattered, their content mixing themselves and dripping to the floor. Gaius sighted once again and decided that, just this time, he would use magic to clean the mess Merlin had made.

"Shouldn't you be at training Lancelot?" Gaius suddenly asked when his eyes fell on Arthur's armor which was still lying in the corner where Merlin had dumped it.

"No. I'll stay with Merlin. He needs me more than some practice dummies."

"No. You should go otherwise Arthur will suspect something is wrong and I really don't think it would be a good idea for Merlin to have the Prince near him with his magic so unpredictable."

"You're right… I'll find a servant to bring Arthur his armor and keep him away from here so you can only worry about Merlin."

"Thank you Lancelot."

The man nodded and left the room, carrying Arthur's armor.

After one week of unconsciousness punctuated by various outbursts of magic, Merlin finally woke up. At first, he felt overwhelmed, as if everything was suddenly too bright and every sounds too loud. He was also feeling some residual pain from the potion. However, he had no time to dwell on this thought because as soon as his eyes opened he was engulfed into a hug by Gaius. The old man looked as if he hadn't properly slept for a long time and that worried Gaius more than his own condition. Merlin asked him what happened and Gaius answered. The Warlock felt immensely guilty for what he had put Gaius through and apologized profusely before falling back in a finally peaceful sleep.

For another week, Merlin felt his magic settling inside him. He would occasionally lose control of it, making the fire burn more forcefully or wind pick up in the room without a window open. He still felt a bit exhausted but all in all everything returned fairly quickly to normal. The cut on his wrist had also healed leaving only a faint scar that would always remember him of those days without magic and what he could have lost when trying to regain it.

When he returned to his duties, he felt Arthur's gaze on his back, watching his every move but he didn't care because he felt whole again and he because he knew that, when the time will be right he will be able to tell Arthur the truth and that he had never wanted to kill himself.

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>So... A little review for me ? What did you think of that chapter (or the story) ? It is very, very important for me ! <em>**

**_Oh and I have a question... Would you be intersted in n AU of 4x13 where Gaius actually died ? Because the idea is nagging in my mind but I hesistate to write it..._**

**_And Thank you again !_**


End file.
